Through the Darkness
by Swimmerkitti
Summary: Freddy, about 23 years old, is hating life. He goes into a bar and finds someone from his past who changes his future forever.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Angel in the Night

Summary: Freddy, now grown up, is hating life. He goes into a bar and finds someone from his past who changes his life forever

Rating: R for drinking and whatever else I put in here

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Kevin Clark, the sexiest being on the planet. *Weeps* I don't own anything at all in this story. I don't own a bar, a karaoke machine, School of Rock, not even the mug of beer Freddy's drinking from. I don't own "This Used to be my Playground" So don't sue me.

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Freddy Jones walked into a bar to drink his pain away. Yes, he still had people call him Freddy, it kept a part of his childhood with him, memories of which were the only thing keeping him going. The bar was dingy, gloomy, and smelled heavily of alcohol and smoke. It was on the corner of two dirty streets in the shady side of town. People often went there to drunkenly play pool, sing, or watch sports around the bar's cheap TV. It was the perfect place for Freddy on a night like this.

He casually sauntered over to the bar, his attitude dripping with annoyance at everyone and everything. "Just a mug of whatever beer's fine with me," he said to the bartender. Seconds later his drink was slid over to him. He downed most of it in one gulp. Wiping his mouth, he couldn't help thinking about how everything was going down the drain. He lethargically called for another drink, his mind not really with him. 

When he got to his 4th mug, he was just about to see how fast he could chug it, when something caught his attention. He heard a cherubic, beautiful voice that ensnared his senses completely. It seemed to envelope him in a mist of saccharine magic. Entranced, his feet carried him over to the Karaoke stage.

Then he first laid eyes on her. This girl was pretty and charming, but in his tipsy state, she was an angelic creature with blonde hair flowing like a golden stream down her back and blue eyes twinkling like stars. Her voice carried a feeling of joy, longing, hope, and sorrow all at once. To Freddy, she was the only thing truly alive in this run-down, smoky, depressing bar. 

"…This used to be our playground, used to be  
This used to be our childhood dream  
This used to be the place we ran to  
The best things in life are always free  
Wishing you were here with me…."

As she finished her song, the last note remained hanging in the air, one last bittersweet word.

Freddy was still enthralled by her. Something about her voice had touched him. There was a nagging sense of familiarity; it was as if her knew her. A wave washed over him, bringing him back to the bar. He stared at her as she stepped down from the stage.

She was talking to a group of people who had been waiting for her as soon as she finished her song. She was laughing with them, looking like she was having a decent enough time. Freddy observed this with a slight pang of anger; he wanted her to pay attention to him like she was to those people. She turned her face away from them for a moment, and her eyes by chance locked with Freddy's. She abruptly stopped laughing, and a flabbergasted look crossed her face. She broke the gaze and turned to her friends and said something, turning to walk in Freddy's direction.

*Oh, God, she's coming over here…what am I gonna say? Is she even going to stop here? Nah I'm just dreaming, she has better things to-* but his racing mind was cut short by that girl speaking.

"Freddy Jones, is that you?"

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Well, what did you guys think? Love it? Hate it? Any ideas? I have the second chapter written; I think I'll post it. I've got nothing better to do…and please, when you click the little review button, tell me if you think Freddy's description of her is lame, as Danielle so kindly put it. If you think it's bad now, it was horrible before. I know, I know, it is kinda short…but you find out who she is in the next chapter and why Freddy is so pissed off…keep reading and reviewing guys!


	2. Chapter 2

*Disclaimer* I don't own Bon Jovi, Harley Davidson, Or any other stuff mentioned in this chapter.

Well I got some positive reviews for the first chapter…wanna find out whom the mysterious woman is? Then read! Then review! Now! Please!

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In his tipsy state, Freddy was shocked as he finally realized who she was. His mind raced and his heart skipped a beat. When she spoke to him, it was like her voice was the key to unlock his memory. It all came back to him. She had a name, it was…

"Marta?"

She used to be a singer in that silly band they had been in when they were kids, from 5th grade through high school. Both of them in college, both recently turned 22; they had almost forgotten each other in the turmoil of their everyday lives. Until now.

"Freddy! Freddy what are you doing here? Ohmygosh it's been so long, it's so nice to see you! How are you doing?"

Freddy chuckled inwardly. "I don't even know how I'm doing anymore…"

"Oh Freddy, what's wrong? Come on, you can tell me, we've been friends since kindergarten! I can tell when something's up…and something's definitely up with you."

He looked at Marta with his melting stare. "Do you really feel like listening to me bitch about my sad, pitiful existence?"

She playfully punched him on the shoulder. "Oh come on, how bad could it possibly be?"

"Worse than you think…" he sullenly muttered under his breath. "After Horace Green, I went to UCLA on a music scholarship, but they kicked me out after a semester because they said they 'didn't like my attitude. I had to leave the rock band I was in and everything. So I went back to New York to live with my dad, but when I told him why I was booted out of college he lost his temper on me and kicked me out. I haven't even talked to him since…" Freddy paused for a moment, letting what he'd said fully sink in. He had never told anyone any of this before, not the whole thing.

"It gets worse, doesn't it…" Marta asked.

"You bet it does. I came here to Chicago to live near my mom. But it doesn't really matter now that I got into college around here because I can't find a decent band…and the cherry on the sundae is I'm on the verge of being kicked out because I'm failing a few classes. Ever since that frickin car accident, who really frickin cares about grades, or being perfect?" With a bitter sigh he added, "And we all know I proved myself as the opposite of perfect long before college…why do I have to screw everything up…I can't concentrate and I don't care anymore. I just don't care. What's the point of life if I killed-"

"FREDDY," Marta cut him off. "It was an accident. It was not your fault she died. Accidents happen."

Freddy's hand drifted up to the scar on his face. The one on the side of his face resembling an arrow. How convenient…an arrow through the heart. "But not to her! What did she ever do to anyone? Huh? NOTHING! She didn't deserve it…and she didn't deserve me…" As his voice drifted away in the noise of the humdrum bar, his mind drifted back to that horrible day

~Flashback~

"Shot down in a blaze of glory

Take me now but know the truth

'Cause I'm going down 

In a blaze of glory

Lord I never drew first 

But I drew first blood 

I'm the devil's son 

Call me young gun"

The music was blaring from the bar as they left together.. It was her first ride; She had come to the bar in a car with her friends and met up with Freddy there. The sun was setting off to the distance, the weather was perfect for a motorcycle ride. 70 degrees as the sun was setting with a light midsummer breeze swishing around. He led her out of the bar, to his brand new Harley. It was his 17th birthday present. He had it custom decorated to be black with all chrome. Chrome flames dancing across the black paint made it look so bad, so wicked, so much fun. So rock and roll. 

"Freddy, are you sure it's safe? I've never been on one before and I don't know what it's gonna be like…" she said, her voice full of anxiety.

He chuckled. "Don't worry about a thing. I go everywhere on this baby, it's absolutely the 2nd best feeling in the world being on my Harley. You feel so relaxed, so free. Everything about it, the adrenaline especially, it just awesome."

"2nd favorite place? Where's the first?" she asked as they got their helmets on.

They mounted the bike. "Drumming, of course," Freddy replied. His usual devilish grin plastered onto his face as they took off.

Everything was fine for about half an hour. Freddy was thinking to himself as they rode along, *Forget drumming. Feeling her arms around me, zooming around on a Harley has got to be the best feeling ever…*

She was having the time of her life, it was like nothing she'd expected.

But neither of them expected what was to come. They only planned to be out for about 20 more minutes when their lives were destroyed in a split second. A drunk driver in a speeding convertible was driving- if you could even call it that- down the wrong side of the road. It was all over in a matter of seconds. 

Freddy saw the lights coming, and tried to swerve over, but it was too late. The impact sent the couple flying from the vehicle, their bodies smashing into the hillside. 

He woke up in the hospital a few days later. He learned what happened, how the drunk driver had been killed on impact, how he himself had been thrown onto a hillside, only with a broken rib and leg and other minor injuries. But he learned that she was a different story completely. She was thrown headfirst into the rocky hill. Freddy remembered that as they lay next to each other on that hillside, he looked over, unable to move, and saw her mangled body. "Katie? Katie answer me. Get up. Come on, do anything. Please!!! Katie…come on don't leave me. You don't deserve this…come back…." as Freddy held her hand, stroked her face with his other hand, he was sobbing. He wished with all he was worht that she would come back. But she was gone.

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"Freddy?" Marta said, snapping him out of his flashback. "Why don't you come back to my place for the night or something, we can talk there."

Freddy just sat there, brooding in his own drama with a listless expression on his face.

"Come on, we're going."

He let Marta lead him out of the bar, into the night, where the cool air renewed his senses. He got into her car, tears streaming down his face. He could hear Marta talking, in the same voice that before seemed so Heavenly, but now he couldn't even bring himself to speak to her. Only one thing consumed his mind…Katie.

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Love it? Hate it? I don't care, just review. I'm not quite sure where to go after this… I hope yinz all like it…  



	3. Chapter 3

Ok, I was so bored today, so I wrote this angsty poem. Seriously creepy. It was going to be it's own little story on here, but I think I'm going to incorporate it in here, in one of the next few chapters.

Now I would like to thank my reviewers! *Tosses them each a box of Cheez-Its*

Justablob and wiseoldman, I'm trying to update as fast as I can! I just can't update sometimes because I don't know exactly where to go with it, I'm just kinda winging it.

Saxaphonebaby-yup, you got it!

Cute angels- err..sorry!

Flatfoot-92- yes I'm evil, I know. But if she had to die. The world is better off that way. Except for Freddy. 

Shortstuff1- it really isn't gong to be either ship because he is kinda torn

XDeepxSmokexPurplexFirex- because she is pure evil. I don't like her. What kind of person thinks Freddy is hers and not mine…haha I'm just crazy.

On with the story. I have no idea what I'm doing or how long this is going to be, but I will finish it. You can all trust that I will not be one of those people who don't finish a story. I will always finish it or delete it. But this will be finished…soon I hope!

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Marta's car pulled up to her house, a small home where she lived by herself with her collie in a rural area near the city. She had abandoned conversation after the first five minutes of Freddy desolately staring out the window. She just figured maybe he'd feel like talking once they got to her house and he was calmed down.

The car screeched on the gravel of her driveway, slowing to a stop. She turned the car off, and made one more attempt. "Freddy, come on. Your life will get better. I know it hurts, we both lost Katie in that accident, and it hurts me too. But it was just that, an accident. There was nothing you could do about it, it was not your fault, you have to accept that and move on with your life!" She looked him right in the eyes as she shakily finished her speech, and their eyes were both brimming with tears.

Freddy said nothing as he got out of her car and slammed the door, and walked up her porch.

She sighed and followed him. *He's going crazy…he can't live like this…maybe I should call Zack, I hope they're still friends…or he's fighting with Zack and involving him would make him even madder* Marta thought as she ran ahead of him to unlock the door. As she walked in, she turned on a light, illuminating her spotless kitchen, and tossed her coat over a chair at the small table. 

Freddy, who was behind her, spun her around by the arm, so they were face to face. "Marta, you don't know what it's like, to have the one person you love, the one person who means the world to you, disappear forever. Katie is gone, and it's my entire fault, okay? It's ALL MY FAULT! I don't deserve to live! She would he alive right now if I didn't have to go show off for her…damn it Marta, don't you see? I'm worthless! I'm lower than dirt! I killed someone! And not just any someone, I killed Katie!" He was shouting now, suppressed sobs wracking his body. His voice trailed off, leaving no sound in that horrible silence except his own ragged breathing.

Marta pulled out a chair and lightly pushed him into it. She knelt on the floor beside his chair, and looked up into his face. "Freddy," she said, tears streaming down her face, "I think I do know what it feels like. I lost more than one person in that accident. I lost you."

"Me?" Freddy countered. "What in the Hell are you talking about? I'm right here!"

"You were gone. Maybe not physically, but you were emotionally void of any emotion. Before you quit the band 3 months later, there was no spirit to your drumming. It sounded empty and hollow, like you. The fierce force of passion in your heart for drumming was gone. All gone. You were an empty shell roaming in search of something you couldn't find. Freddy, believe it or not, I lost someone I loved very much that day too. I loved you…"

Freddy gave a slight chuckle. He couldn't believe this. Now Marta was ruining things for him too? *Why is everyone out to get me…why can't everything just go back to the way it was…* he thought, a contemptuous grimace on his face.

As if she could read his mind, Mara said, "I know you're hurt. Everyone got hurt. No, it is obviously not fair what happened to Katie, she didn't deserve it at all. But you don't deserve this either. You deserve to have a life, to move on, to be happy again. Freddy, things can't go back to how they used to be, we both know that, but maybe you can start a better future."

He stood up, and she mimicked that action instantly. They were standing face to face again, inches apart. Without warning or reason, Marta took Freddy by the shoulders and shoved him against the wall. She wasn't half a foot shorter than him anymore, and with ease she took him up in a passionate kiss. 

Freddy was shocked at first; he had no idea what was going on. But he gave in to his instincts, and kissed her back. He remembered doing this with Katie…but Marta didn't need to know that. 

Things got more heated, and Marta steered him back to her room, still in a lip lock. The pair hit her bed, still ferociously kissing and touching.

All of a sudden, Freddy sat up in shock. What he was doing had just fully hit him like a lightning bolt. "Marta?!" he exclaimed. "Damn it, what the Hell are you doing?"

She pulled herself off of him and stood up, straightening herself up as she spoke. "Oh my gosh, Freddy I'm sorry, I don't know what I was doing…It just happened, I couldn't help it! I used to love you, you know, and seeing you hurt like that hurt me too and-"

"Marta," he cut her off. "I'm leaving. I can't do this. Not right now." Freddy jumped off the bed and bolted from the room. 

"FREDDY! WAIT! COME BACK! I'M SO SORRY!!!" Marta shrieked after him as he ran out the front door, leaving it wide open behind him.

Marta was shaking with fear and anxiety. Freddy couldn't be alone now. No telling what he would do. So she ran into her kitchen, picked up the phone, and dialed an almost forgotten number. She held it up to her ear, desperately hoping he was home.

"Hello, this is Zack Mooneyham," Zack said matter-of-factly from the other end of the phone.

"Zack? Oh thank God, Zack, Freddy is in serious trouble. He needs help, right away. I'm scared he's gonna hurt himself or someone or-"

"Woah, chill out. What happened? Where did you see him?"

"I was singing at a dingy old bar, and I noticed Freddy sitting all by himself, kinda tipsy. We started talking and apparently he got kicked out of college in L.A. and he got kicked out of his dad's in New York, so he came here and got his own apartment. But he's still really depressed and angry about-"

"-Katie?" Zack finished for her.

"Exactly." Marta said disdainfully. "But then we came back here to my place, and we were talking, and I was trying to convince him it wasn't his fault, and I kissed him, I couldn't help-"

Zack couldn't believe his ears. "You kissed him???"

"Yes…but that's not all…we were kinda…getting into it and we had just gotten into my room when he freaked out at himself and ran out of my house. I felt so horrible…now it's my fault if something happens…" she broke down sobbing.

"Dude, calm down. Where is he, I'll talk some sense into him," a voice slightly edged in fear.

"I don't know," Marta said between sniffles. "He just took off on foot."

"You still have that same house you got a few years back?"

"Yes."

"Shit…his apartment isn't too far from there, now I remember him saying something about it on the phone a few weeks ago…but I forgot that he was kicked out and moved here and everything until just now…damn. But he lives about 20 minutes away from me, I'm gonna go to his apartment and check it out, okay? Just hang in there Marta, it's gonna be fine."

"Thank you so much Zack, you have no idea what this means to me."

"Don't worry now, I'm gonna get his little punk ass straightened out for you, okay?"

"Okay," Marta hesitantly replied. "Call me later," she added. She hung up the phone and wearily flopped down on her living room couch. She called her dog over and turned on the news, uninterested , but she needed something to do, anything to try to distract her from Freddy. 

She hoped Zack would have success at Freddy's…she hoped that one more person who she cared about wouldn't be lost tonight too.

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Okay, what do you think? I'm thinking 2 or 3 more chapters should do it…I have most of the ending planned out as I type this. I want to thank my reviewers again for waiting, getting reviews means a lot to me. Toodles till next time.


	4. Chapter 4

New chapter! Yay! I have the rest of the story planned out, never fear! Keep reviewing guys, they motivate me…or something…hahah I had a giant blue pixi stix today and it was goooood.

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Freddy was running out of Marta's house. He could hear her faintly screaming after him, but he didn't care. The only thing he cared about right now was Katie. She was consuming him completely. Freddy was so mad at himself for allowing himself to do that with Marta. *How could I have done that…how?* he thought as he ran, drenched with sweat, the few blocks to his apartment. *I should throw myself in front of a car, see what it feels like to actually die from it this time…nah, I think I know something better to do, I don't deserve to die that easy…*

Ideas and thoughts were racing through his mind a mile a minute. When he arrived at his house about ten minutes after leaving Marta's, he wasted no time in hurrying up to his home. As he rushed in, he stopped in the kitchen and went to the counter. He hesitated, thinking over what he was about to do. Hesitated just for a moment. *No. I will not be a coward. I'm doing this for Katie. I'm doing it for her…* And with that, he grabbed a bottle of Advil from the counter and a knife from the drawer.

He strode into his bedroom, locking the door behind him. *Like anyone's gonna come for me anyway. It doesn't even matter if I lock it. I could do this in the middle of a crowd and no one would care. They'll probably be better off without me anyway. Why would they care about me, just a murderer. Heck, they'll probably be glad I did this for them.*

Freddy took his weapons and sat on his bed. He sat contemplating for a moment, staring at his reflection on the blade. An expression that lacked emotion, eyes that reflected only disdain and sorrow. Without another second of waiting, he brought the knife to his arm and quickly slit a line, oozing blood. It felt good, merely because…it _felt._ He finally felt something. Now he was sure this was right. He made several more slices, gasping each time. But he could feel it. He could feel something; that was all that mattered. He dropped the knife, and with the hand that had been holding it, he traced along one of the cuts with his finger, smirking with satisfaction.

Then he picked up the bottle of pills. He planned to take the whole bottle, one by one, but he got to three and he couldn't take it anymore. His body collapsed onto the floor, sending an eerie thud through the apartment. His mind was dissolving an a whirlwind of darkness, and he faded away into his own thoughts.

~*~

Zack was on his way to Freddy's. He had a sense that Freddy was doing something horrible. Call it ESP, instincts, whatever, you aren't someone's best friend for as long as they were and not be able to know when something was seriously wrong. *Hold on, Freddy, I'm coming for you. Don't give up now.* Zack thought as he sped up, trying to get to Freddy's apartment as fast as possible.

What seemed like an eternity later, he pulled up in the parking lot. The only thing he was focused on was getting to Room 23, Floor 5. That was his destination. The building was creepily silent, except for the thudding of Zack's feet up the stairwell and the pounding of his heart in his chest. 

Freddy's door was, oddly, open. Zack rushed around the apartment, searching for him. When he frantically came to a locked door, and heard a horrible moan come from within the room, he knew Freddy lay beyond the door. Surprisingly, it was locked. Zack threw his body against the door several times before it gave in, thanks to the super-sized amounts of adrenaline rushing through Zack.

He burst in to find his childhood best friend in a heap on the floor, blood dripping in puddles everywhere. "Freddy? Oh God, FREDDY! Come on, man, snap out of it…" he yelled as he rushed to the limp boy's side. He thought he heard Freddy mumble something, but try as he might, he couldn't get Freddy to respond. He sat him up and embraced him as one would a scared little child. He looked into Freddy's face and it was like he was being stabbed with a knife. 

Zack ran out of the room and into the kitchen, where he reached for the phone and dialed 911. "Hello, my name is Zack Mooneyham, I'm in my friend Freddy Jones' apartment and he's hurt himself badly, we need an ambulance right now or he's gonna die. It's room 23, floor 5 of Stone Street Apartment Complex…yes he needs attention right away…okay…okay…thank you…"

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Dun dun dun…


	5. Chapter 5

Here's another chapter…one more after this should do it. This is the thoughts going through Freddy's mind. I wrote this for some reason a few days ago. It was originally going to go on here as a one-shot thing with a different story behind it, but it seems to work into this one really well. I showed my friend Danielle this and she said I should be famous for my writing. But I think if the wrong people saw this I'd be dragged off to a mental institution.  
  
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The lethargy swallows me alive,  
I'm drowning in the darkest pool.  
Gasping for my life tonight,  
Fighting for nothing, like a fool.  
  
I'm burning up and thrashing about,  
As these flames consume me alive.  
Flames writhing with poison burning.  
Impossible to survive.  
  
Clawing at me, scratches deep.  
The blood spills from the wound.  
Ripping me to hateful shreds.  
From all life I am marooned.  
  
Lost and scared, afraid to move.  
In the dark my death is lurking.  
Caught in a whirlwind of shadows,  
I'm tossing and turning and jerking.  
  
Screaming, crying out for love,  
And someone to hold on to.  
But I'm trapped in this raging storm.  
Waves of fear anew.  
  
All I seek is a beam of light  
To save me from this demise.  
I'm letting go, I'm giving in  
Tired of all these lies.  
  
No one is coming to save me,  
No one to ease the pain.  
This is it, the final chance  
To save me from this rain.  
  
I feel a grip, not cold like death  
Embracing my wretched soul.  
Am I free from all the torment  
This darkness black as coal.  
  
The rain is slowly breaking,  
The wind is fading away.  
Flames have stopped their licking,  
Murky water staying at bay.  
  
I open my eyes for the first time,  
Nearly blinded by the light.  
Was I rescued from the pain  
When I was losing the fight?  
  
Is it the brightness of Heaven's doors  
Or the fires burning in Hell?  
What will I see when I open my eyes,  
How much longer have I to dwell?  
  
I force myself to open up  
To face my awful fate.  
But what a shock when I come at last  
Back into a world of hate.  
  
But how could the world hate me so  
If someone saved my life?  
Maybe there was a ray of sun,  
Cutting through clouds of strife.  
  
My ray of sun has saved me  
From inevitable death tonight.  
Something saved me from myself,  
A special beam of light.  
  
I notice someone is holding my hand.  
I see him now; It's all so clear.  
A connection flows of love and care.  
My life-saving miracle is here.  
  
He cared enough to save me  
From my own dark mind.  
Save me from my own destruction.  
Rushed in my room to find:  
  
A lost and lonely being crying,  
Sitting and dying on the floor.  
A bottle of pills and a knife beside me,  
I thought that I had nothing to live for.  
  
But someone cared about me  
I'd thought wrong all along  
Because he truly cares for me  
I know I can stay strong.  
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Note: This is not Freddy/Zack slash. Not at all. Some people might view it that way, but it isn't.   
Now review it! You know you want to.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  


	6. Chapter 6

I decided that this is the last chapter. And I hope you all are surprised by it, I think I came up with a decent ending for once.

A huge thanks to my reviewers:

Mistress of the universe- thank you so much! It really means a lot to me that you like my work 

Stickit2da-maniosis- I hope I'm updating fast enough! Glad you like it.

Cr@zy-yuni- I don't like Katie. I laughed hysterically when I killed her off. But that's just me…I'm not obsessive at all over Kevin Clark…nope. I thought about making a new character, but I figured it would be easier to understand Freddy if it was Katie that died…ha…I mean…how sad. And as for Marta and Freddy, you'll just have to read this chapter

XDeepxSmokexPurplexFirex- it hurts me too

Rhapsody-child-of-the-sky- aww thanks!!!

On with the story.

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*Damn light…what's going on…why am I still here…* Freddy Jones' mind was cloudy and he was having difficulty thinking. He wasn't sure exactly where he was but he could feel a calming aura, a sense of calmness after a storm. He blinked groggily, trying to open his eyes. 

As he became more and more awake, he regained feeling in his limbs. Someone was holding his hand…why wasn't he dead? Once again, Freddy strained to gain control of himself by trying to sit up. Almost immediately, a hand on his shoulder forced him back down. He could feel a slight tug in his right arm, unbeknownst to him there was an IV in it. As his eyes cleared up and the world came back into focus, he noticed his left arm was mercilessly bound in bandages. Suddenly, it hit him like a pile of bricks.

  
He was in a hospital. _A hospital._ *Why in the Hell aren't I dead…who found me?* he thought to himself. Then he remembered something…there was someone else there with him. Turning his head to the stiff, uncomfortable chair beside his bed, he saw someone completely unexpected. Marta maybe, or his mom. But Zack Mooneyham? *Why was he here? How does he know?*

"Freddy! You're awake! Man, don't ever scare us like that again, we've been worried sick. What the Hell's your problem, freaking us out like that?" Zack said, suppressing a grin of happiness with a grimace at the thought of what Freddy had done to himself. Freddy blinked several more times, trying to process this, and just sat there with a blank look on his face.

"Marta called me after you left her house, she was hysterical, oh yeah, she's getting coffee right now. Anyway, she called me sobbing and told me what happened with you guys, so I went to your place and…and I found you…dying, man. Freddy, why did you do that? What's the deal with that?"

Freddy sighed and rolled his eyes, resting his head back onto the stiff pillow. "Look, Zack, I don't feel like talking about it this moment. Can you just chill for a little?"

"Chill? You want me to chill? Dude, I found you last night bleeding to death because you felt it was necessary to mutilate your arm up. I'm not gonna _chill_!!!"

"Look," Freddy said, somewhat agitated. "I don't know what I was thinking, okay?" But his eyes betrayed the truth.

It was Zack's turn to sigh. "Come on, it wasn't your fault. It was an accident! Get over it, I know it hurts that you lost Katie, but you've gotta move on! Everyone else is trying to. You could at least give it an effort to try to live a normal life."

Freddy was really ticked now. "Hey, Zack, _'step off'_,_" _he quoted. 

"Get real, Jones. If you were so worthless and paltry to humanity, why did Marta call me? She was concerned about you…and she had good reason. If I thought you were as despicable as you view yourself, I could have brushed her call off and just thought you were drunk. But I didn't! I went to your apartment and saved your life, dude. And you know why? Because I care about you! So does Marta. You aren't as alone as you think. Shit happens, but people move on. Freddy, man, I don't know what you were thinking, but it was unquestionably wrong." 

"He's right, Freddy," Marta said, her frame silhouetted in the doorframe. She had two cups of cheap hospital coffee in her hands. Giving one to Zack, she dragged another chair over to the bed and sat down. "And you know he is too."

Freddy blinked back tears, realizing that they did indeed speak the truth. 

"Mr. Jones, we need to see you for a moment," a crisply uniformed nurse said from the hall. She walked in with another doctor who was holding a clipboard and had a consoling expression on his middle-aged face. 

"Freddy, we need to ask you some questions. It looks as though you'll have to be in our mental facility for a while, just to make sure you don't hurt yourself again. We need to get you some therapy, so we need to get to know you a little bit more."

Freddy turned to his friends, who had gotten up and ready to leave. "We'll just leave you alone so you can concentrate. We'll come back later to see how you're doing, okay?" Zack cautiously asked.

"It's okay guys, I'll be fine," he said.

Marta rushed over to give him a quick hug before she and Zack left. "Don't you ever do this to us again Freddy Jones!" she said, trying to sound menacing. 

Freddy smirked at the frail blonde and replied, "Ah, get going you two. See ya later."

The doctor smiled at Freddy. "Let's get started shall we?"

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2 months later

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Freddy was now in his own little room in the mental ward of the hospital. That morning his therapist had decided that Freddy was mentally stable and would be free to go . He was finally cured. When he called Zack and Marta, they decided to come visit him immediately. Their visit was a short one, but it gave Freddy a small glimmer that maybe he shouldn't do it. Maybe he was doing the wrong thing this time. 

"Bye, Freddy, we'll stop at your house tomorrow to see you!" Marta said, cheerfully kissing him on the cheek. Smiling on the outside, his heart was breaking on the inside. But he wouldn't let them know that, he couldn't. 

"See ya, dude," Zack said, smiling at him. The pair left the hospital, for what they thought was the last time. Freddy could hear them excitedly chattering away as they walked down the hall, no doubt planning some surprise party for him the next day.

*Too bad the guest of honor isn't gonna make it* Freddy thought, an unsure flutter crossing his heart. *No, I'm not taking any chances this time. I can't back down. Normal people would be over it by now. But I haven't. Ordinary people would be living a decent life right now. But I'm not. Average people wouldn't still feel like this, after all this time and therapy. But I do.*

Freddy reached into his little hiding place in the mattress and drew out a handful of little blue pills. Heavy sedatives he had been given for a few days when he faked not being able to go to sleep. He pretended to swallow them to please the nurse then hid them when she was gone. He was depressed, but not stupid. He had been saving these pills just in case. Just in case he never felt better. 

And here he was, no better than he had been the day after Katie died. He had 12 pills. He put them all in his left hand, and cupped it, so he could dispense them one by one. A cup of water was in his left hand, and tears fell from his eyes which reflected feelings of deep despair and sorrow that would not heal. 

Pill one. *Katie…_*_

__

Pill two. *I'm so sorry* 

__

Pill three. *I never meant for it to happen…*

__

Pill four. *Please forgive me…*

__

Pill five. *Because I can't forgive myself…*

__

Pill six. *You didn't deserve to die…*

__

Pill seven. *And you didn't deserve me…*

__

Pill eight. *I'm doing this for you..*

__

Pill nine. *Because I love you, Katie…*

__

Pill ten. *Because I love you so much…*

__

Pill eleven. *Now I'm coming to see you again…*

__

Pill twelve. *Katie…I'm going to be with you…to love you…forever…Katie…*

They were gone. No way to reverse it now. Freddy Jones smiled one last time as he heaved himself onto his bed with some difficulty. For the first time in two months, the stiffness of the bed didn't bother him. The drugs were beginning to kick in eternal sleep. As Freddy's mind and soul drifted away from his body, for the first time in years he smiled a smile of pure content. His final thoughts were about Katie, the one and only love of his life, the person he was happiest with, and being with her was the only way Freddy Jones would truly be happy. And now, he was. 

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The end! Unless people review me and say if they want me to include an epilogue but I don't know exactly what I'd put in it. I hope yinz liked it! Tell me if it's lame, I'll fix it. You reviewers really helped me, I didn't think anyone would like it. Thank you so much everyone, I loved writing this. Please review! 


	7. Epilogue

Okay, I got positive response for the last chapter! I can't believe I got like any reviews for this story. I thought it was lame but if you all like it, then here we go with the epilogue.

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About two hours after leaving the hospital in the city, Zack and Marta pulled up to Zack's house. He had his own little bachelor pad which was practically wallpapered inside with posters and memorabilia of his never-ending list of favorite rock groups. Zack's blood red, customized car crunched on the driveway as they parked in his driveway. He and Marta were both grinning, ready to burst with happiness. As soon as Freddy had told them he was being released, they immediately started planning his party. 

The pair had gone shopping in search of everything they needed for a kick-ass party tomorrow. Well, Marta really had the last say in picking the supplies out, but nevertheless it still was going to be awesome. "Freddy's gonna be so happy tomorrow! We have to call everyone from the band and try to get them to come up here for tomorrow," Marta thought aloud.

"Like he hasn't figured it out," Zack laughed. "He's not dumb, he knows us better than that."

"I really hope so," Marta replied. "I really hope he truly realizes he is worth something."

Neither of them knew what to say to carry on the conversation, so in silence they unloaded the party goods from Zack's trunk and carried them into his kitchen. He had a nice big yard so they were just gonna have the bash there, nothing fancy. 

"I'm gonna call up the others now," Marta said as she picked up the phone. She was just about to dial Frankie's number because he and Freddy had been good friends too, when it rang in her hands. "It's the hospital again," she said with an extremely puzzled look on her face. She handed the phone to Zack.

"Zack Mooneyham, how can I help you?"

"You're Mr. Jones' friend aren't you?" someone briskly snapped at him.

"Yeah, that's me. Why?"

"Well it seems that Mr. Jones has self-overdosed on his medication, he's on the brink of dying-"

"WHAT? OH MY GOD YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME WHAT-"

"Mr. Mooneyham, there is no reason to raise your voice-"

Zack had it. He clicked the phone back into its receiver, he stood stock still, not believing this. *No way. They're just messing with me. Freddy's better he wouldn't do that…*

Marta stepped over to Zack, her eyes wide. "Oh Zack, what's wrong? Is Freddy okay?"

Zack looked up at her. His eyes were stormy pools, threatening to spill over with tears. Marta had only seen him cry once, at Katie's funeral. It took a lot to get to Zack, growing up with a man like Zack's dad hardened your heart to some things. But this crushed Zack, another best friend gone…

"Marta, Freddy…Freddy's probably dead by now. He overdosed on sleeping medicine…" Zack's voice trailed off, giving way to his tears and shuddering breaths.

Marta was in disbelief. She had tears silently tracing lines on her cheeks, but her heart refused to believe it. "Zack, maybe by the time we get there, they'll have saved him, can't they give him other medicine to counteract the-"

"MARTA," Zack was yelling now. "DON'T YOU GET IT?? HE'S GONE. FOR REAL THIS TIME. IT'S TOO LATE, WE CAN'T SAVE HIM NOW, HES GONE…HE'S GONE…."

"Dammit Zack, stop it, come on, let's go NOW. I want to be there for Freddy…come ON!" Marta said. 

When she, driving Zack's car, pulled up to the hospital about 20 minutes later, it still hadn't hit her. She wouldn't believe it. She would not believe that Freddy was gone too. After persuading Zack to move, they raced through the lobby and didn't even bother waiting for the elevator. They ran up six flights of stairs and arrived, out of breath, at his room's door. They could hear murmured voices and the soft beep of machines from inside. They braced themselves and pushed the door open. 

About 7 or 8 doctors and nurses had crowded themselves into the room, surrounding Freddy's bed. Not one head turned to look as Zack and Marta went in, so they assumed it was okay to stay. Peeking through the shoulders of the doctors, they could see him on the bed. He looked so happy, so normal. So peaceful and content. 

The impact of what had happened fully hit Marta for the first time, and a wave of emotion washed through her, sobs suddenly erupting from her. She turned away from the bed, she couldn't bear to see Freddy like this. Zack hugged her close, assuring her that everything would be fine. Their roles had switched now. Zack saw the content expression Freddy died with. *He must have been happy for a reason,* he thought.

Finally a nurse noticed they were there, and stepped away from the huddle of doctors to talk to Marta and Zack.. "Friends of Mr. Jones?" she asked them. Too distraught to speak, they just nodded yes. "I'm terribly sorry, we tried all we could, but he's gone. I'm so, so sorry," she said, a grim smile set on her face.

This just sent Marta and Zack over the edge again. They sat on a bench out in the hallway, unable to stay in the same room as their beloved friend. They sat in silence for quite a while, until Zack said, "Marta, do you think maybe he's happier this way?"

"What? Zack are you crazy? What are you talking about, this is horrible for us!"

"But I'm not talking about us. I'm talking about Freddy. Do you think maybe he's better off this way."

Marta glared at him, her face showing that she was completely not understanding.

"Maybe this is kinder for him, you now? In all the years I've known him, I've never seen him like this. Marta, he changed the day of that accident, you can't deny that."

She refused to give in. "But when something's broke you're supposed to fix it!" she stubbornly insisted.

"What if it can't be fixed…"

Marta looked Zack in his chocolate-brown eyes and the crying started all over again. A few more tears even escaped from Zack as he hugged Marta on the stiff, cold, unwelcoming bench of that hospital. Marta cried herself to sleep as they sat together on that bench. 

Zack was about to fall asleep himself when the sudden brush of someone walking past him brought him out of his stupor. He looked up to see who it was, and for a second he thought was dreaming. He blinked a few times, but the two people holding hands and walking down the hall still looked strangely familiar. 

*No way…* 

The figure on the right turned his head to look at Zack for a moment. Freddy flashed Zack a grateful smile, and turned back to Katie, holding her close as they walked further and further away, fading out of this life together.

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The end! For real this time…I hope! I really, really hope you guys like it, I wasn't going to do this, but your reviews inspired me. I love you all!

~Kaitlin


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